Recently a small group of friends have been gathering to watch the original Star Wars because one of my poor, neglected, abused paddle teammates had never seen them.
Monday night we watched The Empire Strikes Back, which is my favorite, and it was delightful. The highlights had to be when the above mentioned teammate gasped with a horror filled “No waaaaay!” during the big paternal reveal. (I am still kicking myself for not having the camera rolling for her reactions.) In some ways it’s like watching it for the first time with her, relishing the action sequences, character quirks and C3PO humor with a fresh slate. DELIGHTFUL!
While watching, I was unexpectedly struck by something Yoda says to Luke regarding discernment between the light and dark sides of the Force. Luke inquires as to how he will be able to tell the difference between the two when confronted, and the ancient Jedi master replies, “You will know - when you are calm; at peace. Passive.”
This got my little brain hamster running. Yoda is wise indeed!
Yoda goes on to say that the dark side of the Force is not stronger, but “quicker, easier … more seductive.”
Again, in many respects this makes complete sense. Sometimes in the ho-hum daily routine of life, I forget how effortlessly I can be “seduced” into saying something nasty behind someone’s back; justify all my passive aggressive behavior, or my tendency to be selfish and lazy with my free time.
“The dark side are they!”
On the other hand, Yoda’s wisdom is in many ways far too simplistic for reality. (As in, all those times when you’re not fighting evil incarnate ala The Empire.) Often, good and bad (or light and dark) terms become muddled and unhelpful, despite the fact that politicians folks love to throw those labels around. Instead, things blend together into a complex network of hypothetical scenarios and reactions. Pull one string and a million others may tighten, while others come unraveled.
Too often, there is simply no “right” or “wrong” way to go – there are just choices, and other choices.
Making Good Decisions
So what is one to do when there are no “right” or “wrong” options? Meditation and prayer can’t always determine (though they can certainly help) if you should take or quit this or that job, invest in what stock, settle down in what town, etc. – yet in the end, a decision must be made. Even refusing to make a choice becomes a decision eventually.
Growing up, I thought that there were good choices and there were bad choices, and for the most part it would be quite simple to tell the difference between the two. I strove to continually seek God’s “perfect will for my life,” which (in my mind) was one “right” path at any given time, which (shocker) was an incredibly stressful way of thinking when making decisions. It made potentially choosing the “wrong” thing overwhelming. What if I get off the correct path and deviate into the pagan backwoods? What if God sent me a sign explicitly telling me what to do and I totally missed it?
I eventually came to realize that in some instances there simply are no “right” or “wrong” choices. (There are also sadly no guaranteed methods of making good decisions.) Some folks make pro/con lists, others eat ice cream, some consult friends, others read tea leaves.
For a personal example, I’ll use my decision to marry Chris (since it’s a biggie); a choice I could not make in a vacuum or a science lab. In that case, a pros/cons list seemed … inappropriate. Words of wisdom from friends and family were helpful, but in the end it simply came down to a decision that I could fully own.
Really, it was a united peace with my gut, heart, and mind. It made sense logically and fit comfortably with all the needed factors to ease me into the territory of a confident answer to his proposal.
Choosing one path inevitably closes off others, and you can rarely fully predict the outcome of any given decision. Whatever the tactic, I think the key is often simply being honest about what you want, value, need, can realistically do, and can realistically live with.
“When you cannot make up your mind which of two evenly balanced courses of action you should take - choose the bolder.”
- William Joseph Slim
Almost three years later, I know I made an excellent choice in marriage. Notice that I didn’t say I made the “right” choice. After all, if I had bolted for the hills that would have certainly been different, but not wrong. What that life would look like now, I am at least content to say I will never know.
Anyway, I think taking the time to make decisions with confidence makes it possible to live without regrets. It also reminds us wee mortals to rest in the assurance that God is God, and ultimately in control.
I may not be able to use the Force all the time, but by golly I'll use anything I can to help navigate me through this crazy, crazy world of ours.
Thanks, Yoda.
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