Sucker for Mud

So after running the Mud Mash last year, I knew I had started something.  I had so much fun, not only did I want to do it again this year, I started looking for any and all muddy races I could find locally.  In the process I found the Muddy Buddy and the Tough Mudder, which I promptly signed up for.

The Mud Mash was just as fun (and just as hard) as I remembered, though it has grown more popular (nearly twice as many people attended this year).

 The Muddy Buddy was last week, and I had a blast.  It was cold, wet and rainy that morning, but everyone at the race was in good spirits.  The race is unique in that it is a duathalon, and you "leap frog" with a partner between obstacles.  (One starts on the bike, then switches at each obstacle stop.)  The hills were slippery and slimy so it was hard to keep your footing when you were running, and the rain had everyone soaked head to toe.  The bike was a lot of fun, though some of those down hill courses were SUPER scary, especially since I was taking them like a screaming banshee, trying to recall everything I learned long ago in my mountain biking course so that I could keep up with my blazing fast teammate, Bruno.  I was so grateful for all the technical biking skills I learned in my Westmont class, I'm pretty sure that's the main reason we came in as the first place co-ed team in our division. (Yay!)

The most entertaining obstacle stop, in my opinion, was an enormous inflatable slide.  You had to climb a cargo net up the backside, nearly straight up, and then toss yourself off the other side.  It was a STEEP slope, and with the added wet rains I flew to the bottom and landed with a squeel and a THUD at the bottom.  I must have been grinning like an utter fool the entire race.  It was over before I knew it... only about 6 miles and when you are swapping between running and biking it was insane how quickly the hour went by.

The Tough Mudder is coming up in February, and that one is designed by British special forces or something totally insane like that.  (One of the obstacles apparently is a field of electric wires that shock you!)  Sounds like fun.

Sometimes I forget how much I love running when I'm in the blindingly fun whirl of paddling season, but I think in the long run (ha, bad pun...) the sport I never want to stop doing is just good old fashioned running.  I love that in the morning if I want to go for a jog all I really need are shoes and a bra.  I can go anywhere for as long as I want and I can rock out to great tunes or just take in the scenery around me.

I have been surfing a bit more as well in the off season, which has been great despite the frigid waters up here.  Almost done with my Paralegal program, too! Winter quarter I think is my last ... that will be nice to finally be through.  But until then, more races await.

NaNoWriMo III

For the third year in a row, I am going to dive head first (and with reservations) into National Novel Writing Month.  This year I can honestly confess that I am completely and utterly unprepared.  You see, I have failed utterly in diving back into the story I created last year.  I made the 50,000 word mark, but there was a great deal of story left to tell.  I thought maybe I would have the discipline to keep writing after November, but I did not.  I feel like I have let folks down who took the time to read my little starter novel - they have been hanging in suspense, waiting for me to finish, and I have not done so.

Heck, I haven't even been keeping up with my blog writing.  Sorry!

Thus, this year I think I am going to revisit that story and try to actually finish it.  However, my lack of prep has me worried... yet at the same time, I'm a little excited.  The past couple years I have cheated a wee bit and started writing early, but this year I have not started a single paragraph.  I have re-read last year's story and poured over some notes, but that's about it.


I have also made myself a couple of character bios.  I thought those of you who read last year's beginning might like to see some of the pictures I picked out to temporarily "embody" a few of my main characters.  Doing this kind of thing helps me visualize my story as well as how my characters interact with one another, and it's kind of a fun way to give them some depth for my own reference, as well as keep everyone straight in my head.

Althea Anders

Felix

(Uncle) Hendrick Anders

Erica Page

Thank you again to everyone SO MUCH who read my story last year.  It means more than you know.  I loved the feedback and am encouraged by all of your words.  I also thank those of you who have been and will be socially shunned when I take up a perch in the local coffee shops to crank out some words in this busy time of year.

Good luck to everyone who is undertaking the November challenge!  I am here to help you out of the "stuck" spots and expect you all to do the same for me. :)

Letter from Prince Kitteh

Deer Paddler Hoomans:

Thnx so much for halp pooping out mah fav snuggler/chew toy, the grate bringerz of fudz.  Caterday iz so very much fun when she falls zzzzzzz on the softs and I can haz naps on her faces!

C? She not so prettyz when snorze.

She luvs meh.  Not ever gets enuffs.

Ooooohhhh she must kanu far today.  Happeh!

KThnxBai!

- Prince Imriel

Catalina 2011

The 2011 outrigger season is over, and I have to admit I am more down about it than I ever would have imagined I would be.  It's strange how something can take up such a huge amount of your time and energy to the point you think you'll be so happy once it is all over, but when it's gone there is a gaping void in your core that leaves you feeling stripped and empty.  I know I'll adjust soon enough, but right now it's just strange.  Folks in my office keep reminding me that "there is always next season!" but what they don't understand is that no two seasons are ever alike.  People move on as life carries them away, new people come and add fresh elements.  So no, this season is over, and it will never be quite like this one again.

On a sunnier note, I am very much looking forward to seeing ignored friends, running and surfing again, as well as getting back into my gym routine and having time to write, vlog, and cook.  I have already made myself several new omelet recipes for dinner, am sore in new places, and have signed up for a couple winter races.

Thank goodness we had a more or less a hassle free return trip from Catalina island, which is an utterly different story than last year.  Our co-ed race over was fantastic; it began with an epic storm of thunder, lightening, hail and a downpour that delayed the start for an hour.  The Ka Nai'a ladies literally huddled inside a bathroom on Newport for warmth and shelter since we were strictly forbidden to return to our support boat for our jackets since lightening was striking.  Given our teams previous wins this season, pressure and expectations were incredibly high.  We had a great race, but in the end did not place (results put us at 6 and 10 out of 21) which is of course in many ways disappointing, but at the same time I am incredibly proud of our performance and efforts and in the end our coaches were pleased.  (Not to mention the club that placed #1 and 2 were from Hawaii, and came to rumble!)

The water was rough and we were, quite frankly, under-trained for that.  The spirit and enthusiasm of the team was high, and everyone performed well.  Our novice team, which took up 99% of the second boat, did incredibly well.  It turned into a fun weekend, making it hard to say goodbye to everyone, especially those who we have known for some time will not be returning.

And just like that, normal life kicks back in.  I am starting up paralegal classes once again, and will become a National Notary next week! Oh, the responsibility ... bleh... but it will help out my boss, who I can imagine is going to be thrilled that I'm not running out the door at 4 in my booty shorts and paddle anymore. She will, however, have to deal with my "post gym hair" fashion in the mornings.  The Mud Run is on once again, and maybe a few other treats to come.

The Fear Factor

It is officially change season.  (It has been too long since I drew a comic!)

What is change season, you ask?  If you have read my blog since the beginning, you probably have a good idea, though I’ll direct those of you who do not to this video for an example.  Essentially, it’s a race where you get to take a few short breaks; a support boat follows your outrigger team with 3 extra paddlers, who jump in to replace teammates as the race progresses.

Now, when I first describe change racing to people, the reaction is almost always something along the lines of “that sounds really scary” and "you are really hard core."  And you know what? Yeah, it kind of is scary – but only if you allow yourself to think about it.  The 'Fear Factor' of change racing, to me, makes it exceptionally exciting and fun.  However, there are moments both in practice and in races where every paddler has asked themselves, what the frak am I doing?

Cheering on your teammates from the frigid safety of the support boat can sometimes become quite comfortable.  Then you feel a hard tap on your shoulder as coach mutters, “Get ready.  You’re going in.”  You remove the drenched jacket or towel that you had draped across your shoulders and take one last swig of fresh water.  (You never know which hit is going to be your last.)  You step up to the side of the boat and try not to look down at the frothing ocean water rushing by inches below your toes.  You spot your comrades out in the canoe, some of them so exhausted they can hardly lift their paddle to take another stroke.

Your chest fills with courage and pride as you wait patiently for the boat to intersect their course line, then “GO, GO, GO!” rings in your ears and you leap over the side.  The rush of bubbles and salt water fill your ears and nose as you inhale deeply after breaking the surface from the shock of the cold water.  The adrenaline is pumping your heart out of your chest as you call out your seat assignment, blinking the sting from your eyes and swimming to get in line.

Sometimes you enter the water alone.  That’s the moment when sinister, unwanted thoughts have the most power.  They creep into your mind like spiders.

There, bobbing in the dark waters you wait, a pathetic excuse for a land creature pretending you’re hot stuff in the vast sea.  The sparkling surface of the tide that surrounds you becomes suddenly hostile and unwelcoming, you are not the merfolk you used to dream about, you are not a Navy Seal armed with a knife strapped to you leg, you aren’t even wearing plastic flippers or a snorkel.  

You are nothing.  

You are helpless.  

And you look delicious.

Panic never helps anyone, and I have to admit I have had to choke it down a couple times.  It is around then when I take rare comfort in numbers and statistics, hearing a C-3PO type voice in my head tell me that the odds of a tentacle demon grabbing hold of my leg and sucking me into the deeps are [insert astronomical number]:1.

As the team canoe approaches, a new set of problems flood your mind.  Sometimes you have to adjust and swim so that you don't miss the boat entirely, sometimes you have to lunge your arms out to grab the right place, you have to keep your wits about you.  If the surf is choppy, you have to make sure the canoe or the amma don't smack you in the head.  When the water is especially cold your fingers go numb and you have a hard time holding onto anything.  Other times, you are trying to pee as fast as possible because it may be your last chance for a potty break, but the last thing your lower half wants to do is relax.  Once you have a good hold on the canoe, you still have to pull yourself in and start paddling as hard and as fast as you can, not knowing if you'll even get a break again.

So yeah.  I think that's pretty hard core.  I do apologize if any of you folks who kayak, surf, etc. ever feel like "those outrigger people" are looking down their noses at you.  Because well, sometimes we probably are ... but seriously, I feel like we have earned that right.  (Said in love.  I think.  Mostly.)

Ooodalali, I sure do love change season!

Life and Loss

Today, all my good thoughts and prayers are for my dear friends Rachel and Zak.  Today their son Gabriel enters the world for an unknown amount of time - I hope they have the chance to hold him in their arms.

I offer up to you both and your little one my favorite of the daily Anglican prayers; it's actually an evening prayer, but for some reason it has always been my favorite.  

"Lighten our darkness, we beseech thee, O Lord; and by they great mercy defend us from all perils and dangers of this night; for the love of they only Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ.  Amen."

Chris and I love you both very much!

4 Years Ago ...

Four years ago this lady killer and I had a very fun day with friends and family.

We took an adventure to the mighty wilds of Alaska.

(We both were reading the final Harry Potter book on the tour bus, and just saw the final movie last week.)

Chris was forged a pocket knife made from a railroad spike.  (He still has this knife on his person daily.)

It doesn't feel like very long ago.  (But I still feel like I'm looking at little kids in some of the old photos ...)

Life changes ... yet some things don't change at all.

Goobers forevah!

Summer Fun!

Oh summer, how I love thee!  It is so jam packed with adventures and good times … I realized suddenly that I had quite a bit of things to document.

Outrigger Iron Championships

First, a few weeks ago Ka Nai’a was in San Diego for the Iron Championship race, in which the Co-Ed crew took 1^st place!  This was the second “big” race of the season where the heavy hitters were able to paddle together, and it was a blast.  The sun was out baking us while we waiting impatiently on the line, our nerves on edge but our confidence and expectations were high.  We had a great start, but were followed the entire race by another team that was just on our tail.  We never really shook them, either … they were a local San Diego team and when we hit the harbor mouth on the way to the finish, we could hear them rally.  “THEY WANT YOU!” our coach was telling us from the back, and we knew it was true.  A chorus of “This is OUR water!” could be heard echoing off the shoreline, and a dire sense of urgency surged through our muscles.  It was a true race to the line, their canoe finishing only 10 seconds behind us.  (We were about 8 minutes ahead of the 3^rd place finishers.)  

Such an amazing feeling to come out on top, to know we had earned it, and I’ve never seen Coach Mike so happy to see us!  Folks are often turned off by his generally zealous attitude, but you can't deny that our coaches care about us with their very souls.  After making the team "smoothies from heaven" my dad was able to video and witness our victorious finish, which made it all the sweeter.

Anglican Youth Retreat

The day after the race, I flew out of LAX to Sacramento for the Anglican Summer Youth Retreat, which was a success once again.  For a while we thought we were going to have to cancel this year due to crazy schedules, but in the end it all came together.  We had about 20 students, all of them absolute gems.  It was great to reconnect with old friends, and it was great to see the way the students welcomed new faces into the fold within hours of arrival.  I felt very spoiled this year because we changed facilities last minute and the new location was fancy.  There were not only big comfy beds, there was a pool table, ping pong, nice grassy fields, and amazing food.  (After that long hard race, I ate way more than my share at the buffet line every night that week!)  

We discussed the story of Martha and Mary, and the challenges we must face in balancing schedules, friends, and life in general with “activities” and spiritual disciplines.  I love every single one of those young ladies and gentlemen more than I can describe.  I was able to make a quick video of the fun, and there are other videos from students popping up as well for your entertainment.  (I was just told to add that you should especially keep an eye out for 3:18 of that second link ... sigh.)

Santa Cruz Island

After driving home with Eric, I was up the very next morning bright and early for our very first change practice of the outrigger season.  (Change racing involves a support where paddlers jump into the open ocean and get picked up by the canoe to give other paddlers a chance to rest and rehydrate.)  It was a wonky day, but we had to get it done because the very next weekend was our annual training trip to Santa Cruz Island.  

For those of you who read my post from last year, you are familiar with the crazy ordeal this is: 60 miles of ocean covered in 3 days of paddling!  

The journey this year was rife with adversity, since the ocean was FAR from flat and the wind didn't want to stay calm.  However, our novice members have TRUE GRIT and I love them for their great enthusiasm and spunk.  We left at 5:35 AM on Friday morning and landed 4.5 hours later at Scorpion Harbor, where we unloaded the support boat and set up camp.  We went hiking, and I finally got the hang of stand up paddle boarding.  (I wish they weren't so dang expensive!)  The sun came out on Saturday and it was much warmer than it was last year.  We had great food and great company, and a pile of island foxes skittering around stealthily looking for food.

The return trip was long, but the crews all felt great.  We have a few new members who are scared of sharks, some who are bad swimmers, many who are apt to sea sickness and others who have a number of logical fears.  All of these things were overcome throughout the day, and it was indeed a feast of bliss to crack raid the leftover peanut butter and jelly jars on the boat dock afterwards.  I had my annual two sips of beer, and could not have been prouder of my teammates.

One crazy bunch of burly bitches! :)

"Light Bulb" Moments in Nutrition

I have deleted and re-typed this silly post half a dozen times, for a baker's dozen reasons.  Boring, repetitive, obvious... what can I say?  I find the topic of nutrition and general healthy living habits fascinating, but those are both broad topics and there isn't really much I can do to uniquely add to the conversation here...

...Unless I take a very personal route in doing so.

Unlike what sometimes feels like everyone else, I never "struggled" with my weight as a youth.  Thanks to my parents, I have always been an abnormally happy, confident and "comfortable in my own skin" girl, even when I was undoubtedly heavier than the rest of my classmates in middle school.  With my body type, I knew I was never going to be "willowy" but I also knew, deep down, that my chipmunk cheeks and muffin top waist were due to my lack of discipline (and a consistent overconsumption of chips with guacamole).  I didn't blame my genes, metabolism, my other jeans, or television - I don't remember having an epiphany about it or anything, but at some point I decided to start running (like my marathoner father) and doing sit-ups in my room.  The results to my body were pretty minimal since I often made up for any physical activity with a reward of a burger and a milkshake.

In the back of my mind I was worried that if I actually tried to "lose weight" I would inevitably become obsessed with the idea and do it in an unhealthy way.  My mother often told me horror stories of the years she would "yo-yo" up and down the scale, moving from one fad diet to the next, and I've always been a very skilled vicarious learner.  To this day, I still do not own a scale for this reason (and others).  I was also not too keen on "rules" when it came to food.  My eating habits were mostly based around the philosophy that ignorance is bliss, don't ask don't tell.  I didn't read labels, I didn't measure any of my portions, and my body suffered because of that.  Being athletic and playing basketball in high school saved me from ever crossing into "clinically obese" territory.  I also started cutting out soda and fast food before I left for college.  My knowledge about what I ate and how it effected me, however, was minimal.

My fascination with nutrition switched on after I went through a kickboxing program called KUT with a friend.  Part of the program was basic nutrition, which included a little question/answer meeting where we learned some basics about eating healthy, and I’ve been hooked on the subject ever since.  I have realized over time that there is an overwhelming amount of information out there, and sadly for me most of it has to do with science and numbers.  (Ick.)  However, there have been many "light bulb" moments that have helped me along the way to strive to put good, healthy fuel in my body in hopes that it will run for many years to come.

Light Bulb 1: Food Values

One day the phrase "not all calories are created equal" came to life.

Observe.

=

What do these two pictures have in common?  You guessed it.  Each picture is worth about 1,000 calories.  Or maybe you didn't guess that.  Whatever.  Oh, did I say two? I meant three, though this third one is many pictures jammed into one, it's still worth 1,000 calories.

The spendthrift in me loves the idea of my daily calories needs being my body’s daily “budget.”  Some foods are expensive, while others are very budget friendly.

Cherry Garcia Ice Cream

1 pint = 1,000 calories

How did I feel after eating it? Sick, guilty, gross.

"Megan, that’s obvious.  Everyone knows ice cream isn’t good for you."  Yes, yes. That’s not the point I’m trying to make. 

Okay, lets buy something else with our 1,000 calories - a burrito with chicken, black beans, rice, salsa, cheese and guacamole.  A very satisfying 980 calories.

What I began to realize was how expensive some food really was.  Even the typical hero of health food salad can actually be a time bomb ready to go off.  (Red Robin "Fiesta" chicken salad, pictured, is 1,200 calories.)

What else could I "buy" with those calories?  How about all the healthy food I eat during the day while I’m at work these days? What does all that cost?  Banana with peanut butter, an apple, an English muffin, a hard boiled egg, some turkey, a sweet potato, a smoothie, hot chocolate .. in total roughly 1,300.

I realized it was pretty crazy how much more "bang for my calorie" I could get out of food by simply making more intentional choices.  When I eat good food, my body rewards me by feeling energized, strong, and lean.  I finally stopped fighting with my body over what I thought it wanted - my stomach was like a spoiled child whining for sugar, but when my stomach was denied these things it adjusted with a surprisingly pleasant attitude.

As time went on, I simply stopped wanting to feed myself things I knew my body didn't really want.

Light Bulb 2: The Grocery List

It may seem obvious, but at some point I realized that when I remove something from my usual list of "go to" foods, I have to add something in their place.  First, I cut out soda and fast food.  Next went most cheese, then white sugar and white bread.  For a while this made me feel deprived (especially when chips were off limits) until I began seeking out more protein and things like fish, chicken, shrimp, eggs and Greek yogurt.  Fruit became my favorite desert, and oats my go-to grain.  There were so many unprocessed foods in the world I had simply forgotten existed! I rekindled my love of stir-fry vegetables, canned salmon and the exotic mango, along the way discovering quinoa, edamame and lentils.  Bell peppers and apples became "clean while typing" snacks at work instead of granola bars and sugary yogurt cups.

I think when people hear the word "diet" they tend to focus on restrictions, they see the list of things they can't have and give up.  However when I started thinking about the list of foods I should eat every day (spinach, chicken, almonds, yogurt, salmon, oats, blueberries and more) I quickly realized it would in fact take me all day to get around to filling up with all of it.  I am now convinced anyone "dieting" who is starving is doing something wrong.

Light Bulb 3: Cooking at Home

When I got married, the responsibility for all meals became mine and mine alone.  Chris, I'm convinced, could live for years on nothing but Honey Nut Cheerios.  I have actually been asked by employees at Costco if I run a daycare center.  I finally started saying yes.  At the same time, I am very proud to say that after almost four years of exposure to my "rabbit food" habits his own diet has grown into something I can honestly label "balanced" and "quite healthy."

We don't eat out all that often, mostly I think because we are too lazy to leave the house, but also because I quickly developed a keen interest in being in control of my food.  We all know that restaurants pack on the salt, the butter, the sugar, the whatever to make their food delicious, but the extent to which that is true is a bit alarming to me at times.

I also came to enjoy cooking in a way I never in a million years thought I would.  I have to admit that a big part of this was because I realized that eating healthy usually meant 1) less ingredients and 2) less steps.  It seems to me that all the really complicated recipes (and don't get me started on the evil of baking) aren't very healthy, especially when you compare it to say, a salad, which doesn't even involve heat! (Always a plus in my book.)

In Santa Barbara I am lucky enough to be surrounded by enough "health nuts" that there are tons of local restaurants that strive to be fresh and healthy.  (Not to mention we have the best smoothie chain in the world!)

Light Bulb 4: HARD  F*CKING  WORK

This hot lady in the picture below is named Zuzana Light, and she's my "at home" trainer.  (Some of you may have heard me refer to her as the "fitness porn" chick.)  I have been following her workout videos on the internet for a couple of years now, and lately her website (www.bodyrock.tv) has become incredibly polished and fun.  (Yes, her boobs are fake in case you were wondering.)  Zuzana and her man Freddy film her workout routines every couple of days, in which she challenges her followers to beat her repetitions and push themselves as hard as they can.


If you had shown me a picture of Zuzana five years ago and asked me, "What does it take to look like her?" I would have replied with something super snarky like "having Athena for a mom" or "the money to pay for liposuction and a personal chef."  I have come to realize, however, that folks who looks like Ms. Light have worked their fraking asses off, and earned it hard.  I'm not talking about photo shopped models or string beans, I'm talking about your average person who is dedicated to pushing their bodies to the total limit.  Be it a movie star or that chiseled beach guy who just stole my wave, those bodies are earned.  (Anyone who has seen one of the workout montages on the Biggest Loser knows what I'm talking about.)

There was a time in my life when I would have loved to hate people like Zuzana, but after watching her sweat and growl and dig and push day after day, I can't help but respect and admire her.  She is very open about her struggles to eat healthy consistently, as well as knew ways to push herself.  I visit her website daily for motivation and new ideas, as well as read stories about people all around the world who have decided to push themselves into action.

In this crazy culture of misinformation, convenient food and self indulgent habits, never let anyone tell you healthy living is easy - but at the same time when all is said and done, don't be tempted for a moment to believe it's not worth it.

Avila Beach Race

Despite the fact that I gave my alarm quite a grumble when it started buzzing at 4 A.M., the day turned out to be well worth the effort.

For KaNai'a, it was a fun weekend to rock the short course up in Avila Beach for their Pineapple Express iron race.  This week the team numbers worked out  to do something a little fun and different, racing the novice distance with open paddlers.  Last week the women's boat had a rough time, finishing dead last in our category, so we were ready to prove ourselves better than that - a chance to reclaim our honor!

All novice and short course paddlers had the same start time, so at first it was a bit of a hairy mess.  As the packs began to separate, however, we realized we were leading the pack of women around the first turn.  (And even got to pass a trailing men's boat on the way.)  The energy was great as we chased down the trailing mens teams - the water was glassy, and the true grit of our ladies had a chance to shine.  We took a very proud 2nd place, and our rugged men took 1st.

Rock on!

Trashketball!

My office holds a trashketball tournament every year after March Madness.  (This is actually the 3rd year they have done so, after the game became an 'official' office sport, complete with written rules and a committee.)  This year we had a 32 person bracket, ripe with upsets, shut-outs, and glorious "sudden death" finishes!



This year the "Champ" title was bestowed upon a true dark horse, our new clerk Stephen.  Many of the power house players fell early in their brackets (including myself) and most of them were torn up by Stephen himself.  (Who gained the nickname "Buzz-saw.")  He faced a great foe in the final game, the notorious W.E.D. - a man known not only for his trash talk, but also his last minute victories.

I have been wanting to post a video of the game for a very long time, but this was the first year where I remembered to bring my camera along for all the fun.  Enjoy!

Rig Run 2011

Nothing can ever compare to the Rig Run from last year, which was epic ... except maybe this year.

For those of you who not know, the Rig Run is the race of the outrigger year hosted by my team, Ka Nai'a.  This year we were stationed down at East Beach, and I could not have been more excited.  So far this season has been a little on the rough side, and this being our 3rd race, many of us knew it was "our day to shine."  And shine we did!

Our novice crew took 2nd place in co-ed, and our "beast boat" from last year's Catalina run was partially reunited to charge the field in the open co-ed category.  The races so far have been about 10 miles, and little did we know this one would be extended out to 14.  But it was our home water, and we were chomping at the bit to  take over.  The shore break gave a couple of us a good lashing as we took off, knocking the senses out of our dear stroker and sending us sputtering and bailing to the line.  The start, however, was beautiful.

A masters team from Tahiti showed their colors by taking an early lead and dusting the pack, but that pack was lead by us.  It was an incredible rush, akin to being chased down by hungry wolves for 14 miles with no trees or caves in site.  Our coach, Linda, was steering us like the pro she is, shouting reminders as the rest of us fought to keep our form and our power up to snuff.  The unity of the experience is close to indescribable.  It is hard to say what happens when you are in a canoe full of not only capable fellow athletes, but friends that you literally trust with your lives.

Our hard work in the off season paid off as we came around the final turn to the straight away, lighting to water on fire as we crossed the finish line to claim 1st place.  What a day! (Fun pictures here posted by my friend Kathy!)

I love my team. :)

Failures and Successes

I failed pretty badly in my Lent ambitions to free write every day.  I did not think about how challenging it would be to remember to do something proactive for 40 days straight.  The worst part is that free writing is something any kind of decent writer really should be doing anyway every day.  Hmmm, apparently I have a very long way to go.

In spite of that failure, life has had many successes lately.  One out of the two classes I was taking this quarter is over, which has been a huge relief since it was by far the most frustrating (and time consuming) course I’ve taken so far in the program.  (Not to mention sitting through a 3 hour lecture in crazy uncomfortable lab chairs when you are nauseous and battling bowel issues is flat out torture.)  Friends are doing well/better, family is hanging tough, and the sun is shining once again.  Chris had his second degree black belt test in Soo Bahk Doh last weekend which he passed with flying colors.  He had been training so hard for it I was thrilled to see his radiant, glowing face of pride when he came home.

I’m getting really excited about the outrigger race season as well.  It is exciting to finally be nearing the “moment of truth” to put all the years’ hard work and training to the test. 

Oh, and in case anyone is interested, I have been enjoying a “lollipop” book I gobbled up recently called “Ex-Heroes” which is a genre blend novel that takes place in a world that is full of super heroes (like the Marvel universe) but after the world is smacked down by the zombie apocalypse.  Very fun and light, with some unique twists on the typical zombie lore.

Dark Times

It's funny how sometimes life really can just snowball you.  I've been having a rough week, not so much because of any one thing but a pile of little tiny things (and not so tiny things) that have just piled up.  My prayer request "inbox" has been filled recently with some heavy stuff.  Between friends doing missionary work in far off lands, folks dealing with some very serious decisions in their lives, and others that are just generally stressed out, overtaxed, working hard, whatever - I have been feeling their burdens on my heart recently.  On top of that, there was a death in my family last night, and I have been juggling what is beginning to look like too many projects.  Some gears are changing at work, paddling is going into mega crunch time full swing, Spring quarter in paralegal classes will be taking  up a hefty chunk of time, and my schedule just feels squeezed.

So far, everything is balancing out okay but I am going to have to remember this week that I can't do everything and I can't please everyone.  I hate feeling like I am letting people down almost as much as I hate admitting I'm human.

In the meantime, I've realized it's important for me to identify what things I'm doing because I love them, what things I'm doing because I feel obligated, and what things I should always keep in top priority.  For some reason thinking this way helps me remember when I can relax and when I need to be "on the ball."  Paddling today, for example, is something I really love.  I don't want to go to practice simply because I know coach will yell at me if I skip, I want to go because I know I'll feel so much better afterwards and it will lift my spirits to see my teammates.  It's a sunny, lovely day and even though I am aware the crap is going to be kicked out of me, I will feel all the better for it.

The rest, as they say, is in God's hands.

Weird Things I'm Eating

Cherimoyas

Pretty much no one knows what a cherimoya is when I talk about them.  They are only available from March - June, and are deemed a "labor intensive" crop so they aren't exactly a bargain either.  You have to love them to seek them out.  This is a very polarizing fruit, that is, you either love it or you hate it.  It's kind of an ugly Betty as well, since it totally looks like a dinosaur egg and smells about that way as well.

The taste, however, I love.  They are hard to get in many parts of the country since they really only grow in South America, but here in Santa Barbara several people have these bushes that they raise so they are available in local markets.  I think they taste a little like a strange pear, but I mostly refer to them as "the mystery flavor" of dum-dums.  You have to wait until they are a little soft, and you can scoop out the white fleshy part in the center.  The big chocolate colored seeds are easy to spit out, and the entire thing makes a fun breakfast.  (As long as you can handle the stares from co-workers.)

Baked Seaweed

This is a new obsession.  They were having a sale at Trader Joe's of this stuff, you could get a little packet of them for $1.  I bought about five, and gobbled them up over the weekend, much to Chris' horror.  They are crispy and salted, quite tasty I think and reminds me how much I miss eating sushi on a regular basis.  It's a little bit strange when it comes to texture because it kind of melts in your mouth in a gross way, morphing from a crispy sheet to a gooey sea veggie.  The salt is good though and obviously more healthy than a bag of chips.

I know, I know.  My tastes are not for everyone.  But I still thought it was fun to share. :)

The Four Phases of the Post-Paddle

Phase I: “The Hunger”

Phase I often begins immediately upon termination of the workout, though in some paddlers the effect can be delayed.  There have also been cases observed in which the Hunger will begin over the course of a strenuous workout.  The Hunger descends with great fury, a primordial drive that terminates all logic, and can remove ones very identity.  The empty husk that remains is a desperate creature, fueled solely by the need to eat everything and anything within reach. 

On a more positive note, spouses and roommates attest that the Hunger is an excellent way of getting rid of leftovers in the fridge or fruit on the verge of spoiling.

Phase II: “The Bliss”

For a moment in time, carbohydrates and proteins make peace with one another, and fats, salts and sugars of all varieties are welcomed to the table of even the pickiest eater with gusto.  Only a miracle of heaven can be compared to the sensation of full life being restored to the body through food.  The sensation of unalloyed joy consumes the once hollow body; the spirit returns to the eyes and soul.  Just as the Israelites were led out of the wilderness, one may feel that they have been freed from the bondage of hunger and into the paradise of milk and honey.  (Or both milk AND honey, on top of large crusty rolls of bread, dipped in yogurt with fresh fruit, a whole chicken, and a stack of peanut butter pancakes on the side …with hot chocolate and horchata.)

Phase III: “Denial”

Riding the wave of Bliss, there is a moment, ever so brief, where a paddler may think for a time that their day can continue on as normal, like any other human being.  In this phase, as one relishes the color that has returned to their cheeks, they may begin to plan doing chores, attending events, or mapping out projects which have yet to be accomplished for the rest of the day.  One may even begin to exert themselves in large social gatherings in complete ignorance of there own limitations. 

This phase is often short lived.

Phase IV: “The Crash”

Once the body obtains that which it needed so desperately, the crash may begin with a sometimes violent, sudden, and unexplainably powerful wave.  It is recommended that paddlers be watched by loved ones prior to this phase; in case there is need to set up a soft landing space for their impending collapse.  Like C3PO, the body shuts down with an electronic “biiieeeeewwww” and hums happily in the healing cocoon of sleep.

(Phase IV: Guest comic thanks to Matthew "Chumie" Ochocinco)

Wash. Rinse. Repeat next Saturday.

Shantaram

As I said before, I've been trying to write a bit every day for Lent.  (I've missed a few days, but have been generally good about this.)  Some of it is, as to be expected, utter rubbish.  This one, however, I thought I'd share because I like the inspirational quote so much.

__________

This is a passage from the novel I am currently reading, Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts.  I highly recommend it to pretty much anyone; the story is beautifully written, dark and at times quite challenging.  There have been several passages I have dog-eared or jotted down, but of them all I think this one so far has struck me the hardest.

“One of the reasons why we crave love, and seek it so desperately, is that love is the only cure for loneliness, and shame, and sorrow.  But some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you find them again.  Some truths about yourself are so painful that only shame can help you live with them.  And some things are just so sad that only your soul can do the crying for you.”

At one point or another, every human being has been lonely or felt completely alone.  It’s incredible how terrifying that feeling can be, especially when it is unexpected.  There are times in my life, too many times, where I managed to delude myself into thinking and believing that I didn’t need anyone or anything else, that if I had to go it alone in the world I would be able to survive.

Being alone makes you face things that creep up in the silence, the stillness.  We have an incredible stockpile of noise and distractions we use to combat the reality of our dark hearts, our petty needs, our twisted thoughts and deeds.  Facing our flawed reflections can crush our spirits, but can also indeed be cured with love; the overflowing forgiveness and unconditional covering that is the grace of charity. 

Love fuels the effort we sacrifice in the belief that we can be better than what we are, and gives us the continued opportunity to become the person some believe us to be already.

Free Writing for Lent

Yesterday I thought I was going to skip celebrating Lent this year because I couldn’t come up with anything good to give up.  The past five years or so I have given up simple sugars and white bread, but with outrigger training I have pretty much eliminated those things from my diet anyway so it wouldn’t be much of a struggle.

My beloved old roomie Hilary used to take it upon herself to write a journal entry every day for Lent.  I decided today I am stealing her idea – though I’m going to call them “free writes” instead of journals because for some reason the idea of “journaling” always makes me think I have to write about my feelings, whereas “free writes” are, well, self explanatory.

Some of these writings will likely turn into blog entries, many will probably be poorly formed story ideas, and who knows what else.  I think I’m looking forward to it.

Happy Ash Wednesday!

Imriel de la Phillips

Meet our new kitty, Imriel! ("Imri" for short.)  On Friday, Chris and I adopted this little snuggle bug from 2nd Chance Cats.  He is named after the character Imriel de la Courcel, from one of our favorite book series' Kushiel's Dart by Jaqueline Carey.  (Yes, I have mentioned these books before and will continue to do so until more people read them!)

Our little Imri is 10 months old and scrawny little string bean.  He is incredibly affectionate and has one of the loudest motor boat purrs I have ever heard.  He has been having some tummy trouble but other than that seems to be adjusting nicely.

Inara, our other cat, currently hates him and resents his introduction to the house.  (Hopefully that will change soon.)  She is certainly curious about him, but keeps hissing whenever they make eye contact.  Last night we made them both sleep with us in our room, and this morning I had Inara under the covers at my right side, Imri under the covers on my left.  When I started rousing at 5:30 to get to the gym, Inara gave Imri a growl and a hiss good morning and he promptly ignored her completely.  We'll see how this developes - especially since today will be their first day alone together.

As usual the hardest thing about having a new fuzz-ball in the house is I don't want to be at work! I just want to go home and play with him. :)

A Quick Defense for Valentines Day

I know what you're thinking.  "Am I reading the right blog? Megan, you don't even celebrate Valentine's Day."

Correct, I myself do not do anything out of the ordinary on February 14.  In part this is because I have always found romantic gestures generally suspicious, plus I'm a cheap thrifty person who becomes irritated when money is wasted on frivolous things I don't need (or even want).  Also, I'm lazy and not a fan of feeling forced to do ... well, anything.

But hear me out.  Though I roll my eyes and groan at contrived diamond commercials, though I throw up in my mouth a little when women gush and coo over so and so's bouquet, cheap chocolates, tacky cards, etc. - what I'm always taken back by are the hoards of nay-sayers.  What gives, haters?

Sure, I remember in grade school when there were always a couple gloating kids with hoards of candy and cards on their desks, usually sitting right next to the poor schmo who had one or two.  I know it's frustrating to "be reminded" that some people are happier than you.  (Or so they would like to have you believe.)
"Megan, you just don't get it.  You're happily married.  Once a year us poor oppressed single people are left like starving puppies out in the rejected rains and sorrowful sleet storms while being forced to gaze inside warm homes where attractive couples are cozied up in eternal bliss that we have never known!"  PUH-LEEZ.

If you're single, my guess is someone out there loves you.  It may be your Mom or your AA sponsor, but someone cares.  I promise all those 'perfect happy couples' aren't going to get together and stare at you from the corners of their eyes wondering if you are a secret carrier of leprosy.  There is really no excuse to knock a holiday that only aims to celebrate love.  Plus, quite frankly I'm a little tired of being made to feel guilty for having a +1.  As for it being a "fake" holiday, these days V-day is really no more commercialized than say, Christmas or Easter.  There's candy, there's a lame mascot, a color scheme, the works.  It has all the working of a legit holiday as we've come to expect in America.  You are free to choose your own degree of obligations and traditions (or lack there of).


Valentine's Day is quite simply whatever you make of it.  If there is pressure on you as a guy in a relationship, I'm all for you sucking up the whopping 10 minutes of effort to do something cute for what is basically a guaranteed happy ending.  I mean seriously, if you can't bother to make or buy your special lady a little something you know she is going to appreciate, you should do her a favor and just kick yourself out.  (Meanwhile ladies, some of ya'll need to calm the frak down.)

I for one will continue to shrug and shake my head when asked "So what are you guys doing for Valentine's Day?" - but I'm simple like that, and I know not everyone feels the same way.  Who am I to judge what makes others happy?  I don't care if you have made a date with your sofa, a bad movie and a pound of pink and red candy corn (wtf?), but pretty please, you don't have to tell the world about it.  (That goes for all the intimate mushy stuff that I've seen popping up too ... wisely mitigate your over share!)


All that to say, I would like to simply encourage everyone to show some love today - to someone, anyone, in a gesture grand or small.  Yeah, maybe we should do that everyday, but lets face it, sometimes we could all use a good a kick in the pants.


<3

The Call to Adventure

 “It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.” – Bilbo Baggins

A dear friend of mine recently boarded a plane and literally knowing nothing about what he was doing, jetted off to Romania.  (Kudos again, mi amigo.)  Several of his first stories involving packing, airline hassles, and pre-journey jitters brought back a flood of memories from my own excursions in far off lands.  That whiff of a thrill, that mysterious beyond; it made me recall how much I love and miss it.

I can’t help but believe that everyone needs to find a way to keep that sense of adventure in their life.  For true adrenaline junkies, the thrill may come from extreme sports and the occasional skydiving trip.  For others, maybe buying different fat contented milk is all the variety in life they need.

“The call to adventure” is usually the first phase of any good hero story.  Something happens, be it a tragedy, a given quest, or a simple idea run amok, inevitably in any good tale something occurs that wakes a character out of their daily stupor and calls them to something grander.  If you are like me, you maybe wonder your entire life when your adventure is going to find you.  And again if you are impatient like me, sometimes you make your own adventure.

I don’t want to say that I intentionally seek out trouble (though it happens occasionally anyway) and I don’t want to say that ho-hum happy life leaves me discontent.  There is, however, something about the daily grind, the blah expectations in behavior and mannerisms that I simply can’t stand and often feel obligated to reject.  Some of these rejections are subtle; pushing the rules slightly here, tweaking this stereotype just a bit, removing this or that old habit completely - it all makes me feel like life is worth the effort.

The appeals of stability are undeniable, but I can't help but think that sometimes the thrills of instability are their own reward.  Not so much seeking out hardship as much as giving yourself a new challenge, a consistent inability to get too relaxed and lazy.

As a child I longed for nothing more than my own adventure story, but when I really take a moment to think about it, this is a terrible desire! Frodo Baggins, for example, faced death, misery, pain and suffering at every turn of his long journey to destroy the ring of power.  He was hunted, constantly hungry, cold, lost, and weary.  Why would this seem so appealing to me as a reader? You hear over and over again that all Frodo wants to do is go back home to his pipe and fluffy bed.  But something between all that still hooks me – there is appeal and horror in the thought of my character being tested, my resolve stretched wafer thin, my foundations challenged. There is excitement in that sense of purpose, that frightening call to something so much bigger than myself.  I know that is a huge part of why I love fantasy books and epic video games and movies.

The 'great outdoors' deserves its own chapter in this discussion. The power of nature and humility that comes in putting our own small selves in perspective with the world as a whole and the abundant miracles on the planet are staggering.  I have recently tried to 'get out there' more often, and the results have been refreshing and rejuvenating in so many ways.

Is adventure what modern cushy American life attempts to constantly strip away? Or is it present in such small ways that we miss it?  It is all too tempting to stay in our homes, not talk to our neighbors, shut our eyes and ears to opportunities that are constantly knocking.  Maybe I will do this or that someday.  Next year.  Next week.  Not now, I'm tired from my long day of sitting.  At least for me, there is always that call ... a whisper in the wind beckoning me outside, to try something new, to risk my heart in love, to have faith in flawed people who don't deserve my trust, to test my strength and resolve in sports and good habits, to challenge myself to be better, stronger.  A little spontaneity goes a long way.

Can it be boiled down to a pursuit of novelty? Or what Chris might call the need to have a "project"?  Are we obsessed with novelty as a part of our culture? A study on Rhesus monkeys gave chimps an option between assured reward and gambling for their meals.  Time and time again, the animals preferred risk over regulation.  The primates preferred to gamble, and the unreliable result provided constant novelty.  I'm honestly not sure what decision I would make in such a case, but I find it interesting.

What I do know is I want to feel ALIVE.  What does that mean to you?  Maybe it changes - sometimes all I want is to feel like the things I do matter; other days I want my breath taken away in wonder.  People face chances to take more risk every day, be it financial, emotional, physical, or creative.  Whatever the case, it seems to me that it's an essential part of a healthy life.  So don’t be surprised if the next time you step outside your front door you find adventure is sitting there waiting for you, wagging its tail.

When the call to adventure comes, will you go?