Dark Times

It's funny how sometimes life really can just snowball you.  I've been having a rough week, not so much because of any one thing but a pile of little tiny things (and not so tiny things) that have just piled up.  My prayer request "inbox" has been filled recently with some heavy stuff.  Between friends doing missionary work in far off lands, folks dealing with some very serious decisions in their lives, and others that are just generally stressed out, overtaxed, working hard, whatever - I have been feeling their burdens on my heart recently.  On top of that, there was a death in my family last night, and I have been juggling what is beginning to look like too many projects.  Some gears are changing at work, paddling is going into mega crunch time full swing, Spring quarter in paralegal classes will be taking  up a hefty chunk of time, and my schedule just feels squeezed.

So far, everything is balancing out okay but I am going to have to remember this week that I can't do everything and I can't please everyone.  I hate feeling like I am letting people down almost as much as I hate admitting I'm human.

In the meantime, I've realized it's important for me to identify what things I'm doing because I love them, what things I'm doing because I feel obligated, and what things I should always keep in top priority.  For some reason thinking this way helps me remember when I can relax and when I need to be "on the ball."  Paddling today, for example, is something I really love.  I don't want to go to practice simply because I know coach will yell at me if I skip, I want to go because I know I'll feel so much better afterwards and it will lift my spirits to see my teammates.  It's a sunny, lovely day and even though I am aware the crap is going to be kicked out of me, I will feel all the better for it.

The rest, as they say, is in God's hands.