THE TOUGH MUDDER

Known as the "toughest event on the planet," with the tag line of "because marathons are boring," the Tough Mudder is based off of an obstacle course that was created by British Special Forces and is completed by thousands of crazy people all over the United States yearly. The specific event I participated in was located at Vail Lake, near Temecula California and was about 11 miles long which included 21 different obstacles. The "shock and awe" obstacle being the finale, an electric gauntlet of peril as well as 12 foot walls, log carries, dramatic jumps off platforms into water and crawling through itty bitty trenches and beneath barbed wire.

Quite a few folks run this event in teams, but there is a credo you recite at the start of the race which basically says you will help your fellow Mudders tackle the obstacles, that it's not about time, and you'll be willing to assist others when they need it, carry the wounded, etc.  I couldn't resist the call to glory long ago when I heard about this event.  It not only sounded fun, it sounded like a great challenge.  I am very pleased to report it was everything I had hoped and more fun that I had dared to imagine.

This event was, in summary, a giant adventure playground for adults.

THE EPIC TRAINING

Before I go into the details of my race experience, I must first take a moment to talk about the training I was a part of before the event even began.  A friend of mine found out I was signed up for the Tough Mudder "all on my lonesome" and hooked me up with an incredible pack of women who were doing the same race (one day earlier) as a group.  They are all part of a local Roller Derby team, the Mission City Brawlin' Betties.  These ladies are rockin' badass fabulous, and I'm forever grateful that I had a chance to meet them and train for this crazy race with them.  They raced as "Team Pretty."  It took me a little while to get used to their "derby names" but before I knew it I was on the phone with my Mom saying, "Oh yeah so tomorrow I'm carpooling up with Havoc, Misfit and Queefie to Crissy Bang-Bang's Dad's house so he can kick our asses up and down some gnarly hills."  Bang-Bang's Dad has property in the Middle-of-Nowhere National Park (okay, Los Olivos) where he trains students in Aikido.  For the love of his daughter and her team (and tag-alongs like myself) he took 3 weekends to get us ready for the big race and let all of us pay him in the form of pie and beef jerky.

I must admit, that man got the best of me.  Not only did we do crab walks, hill runs, log carries, Aikido strengthening, crazy push-ups and hundreds of jumping jacks, the final session we did all of that while he sprayed us down with a garden hose.  Let me tell you, after training with him I felt VERY prepared for ANYTHING.  At one point, lying on my back in the dirt and thistle, holding my legs 6 inches off the ground, then 12 inches, then  back to 6 trying to count to ten and getting gallons of water spurted up my nose, sputtering and shivering, the thought did cross my mind that I was indeed a little crazy.

That thought made me smile.

THE EPIC RACE

The weather was perfect.  The atmosphere was buzzing with excitement.  I have been asked several times if I was nervous, and generally speaking no, I really was not.  I knew that come what may, this was going to be a great day.

I was joined by 5 friends (most of whom were veterans of the SLO Mud Mash and other similar events) that were just as jazzed to take part in the mayhem.  I was specifically talked into it by my brother-in-law, Sean, who had a not so pleasant Tough Mudder experience last year in Snow Valley.  (Where it actually *snowed* on his race day....)  Since we weren't an actual team, I didn't expect to see most of them for the duration of the race.  However as it turns out both Sean and my friend Ben were all able to keep about the same pace up, so we stuck together.  I think their company made the distance seem very short, and I was undeniably grateful for their aid on a few of the obstacles.

Did I mention there was an obstacle *before* the Starting line? Yeah, just to make sure everyone is serious... so here is a pic of me on that wall, next to The Flash! :)

Last week I was a little disheartened because my planned training schedule had fallen short, since I got sick as a dog the second week of February and rolled my ankle slightly during trampoline dodge-ball on Valentines day.  I was feeling great race day morning, however, and had been chomping at the bit all week to get to that starting line.

The race is so popular 500 people leave in "waves" every 20 minutes.  There was an MC to entertain the folks for a little while before taking off, where you recite the Mudder Code and get pumped up with lots and lots of "Oorah!"  The philosophy and atmosphere make the race very unique, in that you feel very connected to the folks around you and you know that if anything were to happen, all the strangers around you would be at your side ready to help out.  the event is seen as a "challenge" instead of a "race" so time doesn't matter.  There are no chips to record your time and teamwork is highly encouraged.  There were costumes everywhere - I followed The Flash and Superman for the majority of the event; among other notable team names were "The Motorboaters," "Mudder Prison," "Team Trojan" (wearing red tutu skirts) and "Team Merkin: We Got It Covered."  Quintessential guys in Speedos, weird wigs, and I have to mention my teammate Ben running in "Jesus sandals."

My taste of TOUGH came immediately at the second obstacle, which was a low crawl under barbed wire fence.  Sean crawled under the obstacle like Spiderman, showing off his Army Strong training.  I tried pathetically to keep up with him using the inch worm strategy, and lifted my butt in the air just high enough to snag my pants on the very real barbed wire.  All it took was a light snag, and TA-DA! I was mooning everyone behind me.  My pants had a hole in them over my right butt check the size of the palm of my hand.
 

"Holy monkey... I'm on the first mile and I'm already wanting to quit since I don't want that hole to get any bigger..."  But oh, miracle of miracles! What was I given with my bib number at registration? (Sing the following with the "12 Days of Christmas" tune...) FOOOOOUR SAAAAFETY PIIIIINS!!  Praise!  I pinned myself together (two smallish holes were much better than one huge one) and kept on running.  (In the photo there you can kind of see the hole peeking out as I am jumping across giant muddy trenches in the ground.  Family and friends were gathered at certain obstacles to watch the crazies and cheer us on!)

I gingerly stepped around rocks in a dry river bed, climbed and rolled under logs, found some very narrow trenches, and then hit the first (and one of the worst) obstacles: crawling through dangling electric shock wires.

Mother Fraking Mudder, these things were crazy.  Saying they "hurt" isn't really the right term ... it's more like they punch you really hard.... like a really strong gnome is suddenly slamming his tiny rock hard fist into your body as fast and as hard as he can, and it somehow makes whatever muscle he touches spasm.  I got a really good one to the back that made me roar like a man, all the while volunteers are screaming over us  "Don't stop! Crawl faster and it will be better!"  But holy cow I'm just not a very fast crawler! Ben at my side kept yelling as I heard the snap, crackle, pop noises all in his general direction.  It was like my friend was getting tortured! (And he wasn't wearing a shirt... hmmm..)

Haha but somehow it was still fun ... I know, I know ... but it was!  More hills came after that, and more trenches, and daring leaps over giant muddy holes in the ground.  There are snarky signs posted all along the course to "motivate" you.  I took it easy on most of the uphills, saving my energy for whatever was around the next corner.  There was a giant ice bath that was alarmingly cold - it made my entire body feel like it was gasping for life, and once I was out the lingering tingle stayed with me for about another mile.  At least, until I got to the plunging tower, where you took a leap off a 20 foot platform into a giant muddy hole.  I have never had a problem with heights to I just went for it, and there was that little moment once I started falling that made me think "Oh my ... this is actually really high! Squeeeeee!!!"

There were some pretty big gaps after that which were flat or hilly and just for running.  I felt so good running, I think because it was something I was good at and there was nothing being slung my way.  It was a bit dusty, and the hills just never seemed to stop.

Little by little we made progress, and mile marker after mile marker kept us going.  We carried wood, we slogged through mushy lake crossings, we shimmied over water traps and balanced on 2x4's.


My favorite obstacle was probably the giant Slip N' Slide.  It had big bumps and a jerk with a fire hose who sprayed me in the face the entire way down.  I was grinning like an idiot as I slammed at who knows how many miles per hour into the giant pool at the bottom.  I wanted to turn around and do it 10 more times!  By then you could see the finish, hear the fun blaring music, and I was certainly ready to get the little pebbles out of my shoes, so I decided to keep going.  There was still a lake to swim in, and Everest to climb.  "Everest" is a big half pipe that you have to run up and either grab the edge on your own, or hope you have someone there to catch you and help you over.  I had been a little intimidated by the thought of this obstacle for a while, so I was incredibly grateful and happy that Ben and Sean were with me and I trusted them enough to not drop me on my face.  They both made it look so easy ... even Ben with his non-tread sandals!

Success on the first try!  (Thanks to the boys.)  Then it was on to the finale, and the most well known obstacle, the Electro Shock Therapy run.  If you have never seen any videos of these runs, you really should check it out, it's both horrific and hilarious.  Of all the people I invited to join us for the event, this was hands down the number one reason everyone gave for not wanting to come.  "Oh hell no, you guys are crazy" was probably the most popular line, followed by "Electric shocks? You PAY for this race?"  Yeah ... well... I mean... it's hard core! Right?

My Uncle went onto the website after I told him about it during Thanksgiving, and came back to me with wide eyes.  "Megan, have you actually seen the website for this event?"  Yes, I'm all signed up.  You kind of have to visit the website to sign up ...

Anyway, there were hay bails in the way, so it wasn't exactly a straight shot to the Finish, which you could actually see on the other end.  The folks who went in front of us all seemed to biff really bad... their backs or legs would get shocked and they would fall down hard, face first into the mud.  I guess a few people had even broken their arms earlier in the day!  It made it worse to just stand and watch, so once the coast was clear we all just took a deep breath.

My mantra was simple: DON'T FALL DOWN.

I got hit by one bomber hard in my left quad towards the end; felt the after effect of that for about an hour, but it didn't stop me. (Whew!)  Sean let out at least one banshee good scream and his body twisted towards me in a convulsion, but he made it through as well!

So, does everyone see Superman and The Flash standing behind us in the charge photo? Yeah, so the age old question of "Who would win a race? The Man of Steel or The Flash?"  The answer is, Megan, Sean, and Ben! Haha.  I think we finished in about 2 hours and 45 minutes.  The clock wasn't really anywhere obvious so that's just what I was told by our crowd of fans.  (Oh, and Bruno, my Muddy Buddy ...  finished nearly an HOUR ahead of us....animal!)

I'm already looking at signing up for another race in Las Vegas this October ... maybe even signing up to do both race days on Saturday and Sunday.  Double the fun!!  This more than any other event makes me truly believe that everyone is stronger than they think they are - don't run from an opportunity to surprise yourself, and never be afraid to look your fears in the face and grin right back at them!

Trampoline Dodgeball!!!!

So, when was the last time you did something that was "ridiculously awesome fun"???  

For Valentines a friend of mine organized a trip to SkyHigh Sports in Camarillo, a sports facility that is nothing short of a mega ninja hopping trampoline paradise!  I have been wanting to go to forever but had never bothered organizing anything.  There was a special 2-for-1 deal for couples, and I was stoked at the chance to play trampoline dodgeball.  I have to admit I had very high expectations as to how fun this would be, and my expectations were utterly blown away.  I had an absurdly good time.  We played for two hours (a whopping $20 per couple) and everything I was wearing was drenched!

The dodgeball pit was pretty simple, roughly 8 or so trampolines per side, squishy colorful kickballs being lobbed around, and a ref to make sure people weren't cheating too bad.  There were inevitably some little kids (and a couple guys that took the game waaaay too seriously) but all in all it was an excellent group.  I got nailed in the face a couple times ... that stung a little... I think they should use something more punishing for us next time...haha!

There were other pits in the area, one that was big and open and another one where you could jump into a huge pile of foam for a soft landing.  The foam was really hard to climb back out of, but it was fun to go flying into it!

BOYS!

LADIES!

In summary the evening was simply labeled a complete success.  I want to go back (as do most of us) for more.  They teach an "Airobics" class that I'm afraid I'm going to have to test out ASAP.