My First Ever Pro Massage

**Note: This post is old.  I wrote it back in September, and totally forgot to publish it!

A little fact about myself you probably didn’t know: the idea of getting a massage gives me the heebie-jeebies.  (Scientific term.)

I think this feeling is largely due to my long private Christian school upbringing, in which a massage was more or less the equivalent (in my mind) of getting laid.  Okay, maybe not quite that, but it was certainly an over utilized tool in the game of tween seduction.  When a boy walked up behind you and gave you a neck massage, he was totally wishing he could tap that.  If a girl did the same to a guy, she was hustling for a homecoming date invitation.

So basically unless I am really attracted to the person, my first instinct when someone reaches for my shoulders is "Don't TOUCH meh."  (I had to really stifle this feeling when girlfriends did this to be sweet and I didn't want to hurt their feelings.  Awwwwwwwkward.)

After our long outrigger race in Oxnard I felt okay, but that night my back began to clench like an iron fist.  By Sunday morning, it took a long time for me to roll out of bed, and even walking around the house was a tedious and delicate task.  I armed myself with a heating pad, an ice pack, and watched an entire season of The Sons of Anarchy.  I felt better Monday, but “better” is a very relative term.  Sitting at my desk was a little torturous unless I kept perfect posture.  I needed something else, and a sports massage seemed to make the most logical sense.

I have thought about getting a massage before several times, and I have always chickened out of actually making an appointment.  Several friends have invited me along and volunteered to “show me the ropes” when it comes to massages, but I could never commit.  This time, however, it felt necessary, and I was willing to try anything – the pain was just too much.

To the internets I went, hunting down a massage therapist I would have the courage to see.  There are dozens of spas near my office, but visiting their websites gave me that gross feeling of being sent to an orgy farm.  Strangers touching me … girly smells … mindless salon style chatter… eeeeeeh … no thank you.  I needed to find a male, and I needed to not feel uber creeped out.

At long last I found a fellow with soaring praises from professional athletes who worked close to my office.  His site seemed very professional and serene.  I didn’t get that horrible creepy vibe and there wasn’t a statue of a fat bellied Buddha anywhere.  So, I dialed his number, and when he answered the phone I promptly hung up on him.  Oh, yes.  Full on, high school stalker style, hung up on the guy because I couldn’t muster up the courage to actually say anything.  Ridiculous.

It took me two more tries in the span of an hour to make a freaking appointment, and that only happened because my office chair was aggravating my back muscles so much.  Every time I picked up a file, I cringed and thought about how silly I am.

So, call I did.  I talked to the guy and made my appointment.  I penciled it into my calendar, I Googled his address.  Little did I know I was going to the guys personal residence.  Of course, of course I have to go to some stanger’s house without a bodyguard.

I had a mantra as I opened the gate.  “It won’t be creepy.  It won’t be creepy.  It won’t be creepy.”

As I opened the gate, a lush garden welcomed me, as well as an adorable curly haired doggy.  I relaxed a little.  The man came out to greet me.  He was short but muscled, dressed like a surfer beach bum.  There was pleasant music playing in the house as he lead me to the back where a separate shed sat.  It was like a little shrine with an oddly shaped bed.

The guy instructed me to undress, and he would be back in a few minutes.  Shutting the door behind him, feelings of panic returned.  How much do I take off? I wondered.  I had not thought to research that … do I get buck nekked?? If that’s not what you’re supposed to do, would he think I was a looney? If that is what you’re supposed to do and I keep my undies on, will he think I’m an utter prude?  I fretted over it for a long time but finally settled with panties on, bra off.  I tucked myself gingerly beneath the covers and let the serene silence take over.

I wasn't sure how to say This is my first time without it sounding ridiculous, so I decided he could do all the talking.

He came back and proceeded to grease me up, talking pleasantly about the weather, what sports I do, why I was there, and what my body was telling me.  Turns out several of his clients were outrigger paddlers, so he was familiar with the sport as well as the upcoming Catalina race.  His hands were disturbingly strong, I had to clench my teeth several times to keep screams of pain inside my throat.  It was also a little alarming to think, If I had to fight this guy for some reason in an attempt to escape, I bet I'd be pretty beat up in the process.

It took a while, and there were lots of "whooooa there..." moments, but I made it through.  He gave me some of his cards and told me to come back after the Catalina race.  I don't think I will ... but I'll keep him in mind.

TIP: No one told me you had to plan a shower after these encounters.  Back to work I went, greasy and gross.  Thankfully no clients showed up, and I did feel more relaxed.

Mission accomplished.

Runners Bliss

No matter where I have lived, there is always somewhere fun to go for a run nearby.  Granted, I have never taken up residence in the busy inner city - I think that would be the most challenging location.  I am also grateful beyond words that a "harsh winter" is non-existent around these parts.

There are days where I can almost literally hear the road calling me.  My legs feels anxious at rest.  My shoes dance for me slightly with excitement.  Are we going out today? Where? For how long?  I enjoy not knowing.  I also recently have been remembering how much fun it is to explore new routes.  Living in the same place for a while gets me rutted in old habits quicker than I like to think about.  I had three loops around Carpinteria that I would usually take, which I simply called my long loop, my short loop, and my scenic loop.  I would splash in a little variety here and there, but for the most part those were my usual paths.

Tee hee! Dolphins on the ranch gate!

Yesterday, feeling adventurous, I went in the complete opposite direction as my usual course.  I dared a beautiful mountain road that lead me sailing over hilly roads past farms and ranches, eventually finding the local polo club and a bit beyond.  It was exhilarating and fun, not to mention beautiful.  I also have to admit that having a phone that takes pictures which instantly upload themselves online is awesome.  I couldn't locate my trusty iPod before my trip, so I decided to try radio via my newly acquired hand-me-down Droid.  It worked nicely, and I was able to snap photos on a whim.  Pretty cool!

Mountains on one side, beach on the other.  Surrounded by happy!

Protesters!

So, one of the attorneys in my office is part of this big labor dispute and there are actually people outside our office today PICKETING him!! We went out as a big group and took a picture.  So funny!!!!  (Sadly the attorney himself is not in the office today so he was not able to protest himself.)  Smile for the camera!  The folks out there were really nice about it, I think they were highly entertained that our entire building emptied for the event.

Why I Hate Baking

So, a few friends of mine started doing something called "Supper Club" a while back that I only recently have been a part of.  I decided to host the January chapter, in which I thought it would be fun to have a New York themed dinner, since we just celebrated the new year.  Accordingly, all the food is roughly New York related, and I decided I would tackle something that terrifies me: baking.  Not only baking, but baking Chris' favorite delight, cheesecake.  (New York style, of course.)

The day of baking started off poorly when I ruined one of my favorite snacks, baked sweet potatoes.  (Though technically this is baking since it involves an oven, I have been told it's not traditional baking.)  The delights are incredibly simple to do, and I snack on them with great fervor.  However, I left the house to pick up a special pan for the cheesecake and didn't make it back in time... when I opened the garage, the house was full of smoke and the alarm was going bonkers.  The cats were terrified as Chris darted upstairs with a ladder, and there were my beloved sweet potatoes ... ruined!

I ate half the tray anyway.

This was the worst way for me to dive into a project that already had me irritated.  Let me first explain the reasons I hate 'traditional' baking.

1. It's messy.  Not only does every typical ingredient get everywhere, but they are usually sticky and get all over me.  Plus you always use a crap ton of dishes in order to do anything.

2. You have to follow the directions.  LAME.  Everyone knows I hate rules and directions.

3. If you don't have a million specialty gizmos, most of the work is a pain in the rear.  Manual everything in baking is tedious and frustrating.  (And extra messy.)

4. When you're finally done, all you have created is something poisonous you shouldn't eat.  If you share it with others, all you're doing is poisoning your friends.

I had to literally buy every ingredient on the list for my cheesecake since we were low on milk and eggs.  (The rest of the items I either never buy or they had been sitting at the bottom of the cubbard for 4+ years.)  I got the smallest box of sugar possible - the recipe called for more than half the container!  Disgusting.

The graham cracker crust had me frazzled since it was very unspecific as to how much graham was required.  Chris and I mashed a giant bowl of graham crackers until our arms ached, only to then realize it was way too much.  (The crust filled half the pie pan when we poured it in.)  I totally forgot to grease the edges and had to take the crust back out anyway once I had it level.  By that time I was pretty annoyed, my kitchen was a mess, and I still had to deal with cream cheese and sour cream. (SO NASTY!!) I was told to give the pan a "bath" so that it wouldn't crack.  Personally I didn't really care if it cracked or not, but lo and behold of course the one thing I don't care about turns out to be utter perfection.

I'm not eating any of this thing after knowing what is in it ... but I can't have anyone try it until our dinner party on Friday.  Hopefully everyone likes it ... I guess with an entire bowl of sugar who can resist?  I was almost angry that it came out so pretty looking ... I'm not sure why, but I think deep down I wanted it to have an attitude with me when it came out of the oven like, "Mwahahaha! See this? Screw you! You can't bake!"  Instead it came out looking basically perfect.  I have nothing to be mad about.  I've already been told "See? Baking is easy!" by a few people.  Ugh.  I don't care if it's easy ... I don't think it's fun, and that is that.  I think this was my own way of double checking that fact.  So now instead of telling people "I can't bake" I will instead inform them that "I despise the activity of baking treats."

So there.

Hiatus Over - Viva 2012!

Oh my, it has been months since I last posted.  Hello, everyone! This is a good indicator of how nutty it has been lately.  Between NaNoWriMo, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, gym dedication, family, races, paintball, and work … yeah I kind of forgot I even had a blog.  Oops!  Things are slowing down, the winds are calming, but I fear it is the silence before a new storm.  I just finished my first week back in Paralegal classes, my LAST QUARTER.  (Yay!)  I have been running, surfing, paddling, weight training, hip-hop dancing, swimming, and all sorts of other fun activities.

Hip-Hop Classes

The hip-hop classes were a Groupon opportunity that I simply couldn’t resist – the sessions are incredibly hard, but super fun.  I am the awkward dunce in the class, but that doesn’t bother me too much.  (It’s good to be utterly humbled every once in a while.)  I have picked up some cool new moves, and surprised myself at times with how quickly some of the trickier motions come.  I don't think I'll be able to afford to keep going once my "one month unlimited" runs out, but I like knowing that I can go back if I ever feel the urge.

Movies/TV

Every once in a while, I discover some entertainment in the world that I simply must gush over for a moment.  Two movies recently made my day, "Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil," and "Lesbian Vampire Killers."  (Just "Vampire Killers" in the USA ...) I know what you are thinking ... by the titles alone you are wondering if you will be seeing them listed as nominees for the upcoming Oscars.  Well just trust me, they are worth streaming or renting from Netflix.  A funny story about L.V.K. is I had never heard of it until the theme song started playing on one of my soundtrack radio stations.  I loved the theme song so much I had to research what movie it was from, and then of course had to rent said awesome sounding film. :)

The TV shows Chris and I have been mowing through lately are "Shark," "Sons of Anarchy," and (Oh, and P.S. to Mr. Petty, we are finally getting into "Psyche.")

Misc.

-Paintball is going to be a much more frequent event in our house, since both Chris and I invested in new paintball guns, masks, etc. We have a new field opening up in Oxnard, and have rediscovered how fun the activity is.  Nerdy My Little Pony

-Droid does.  I now have a Smart Phone! And I think it's a little smarter than me sometimes.... huh.  I resisted the smart phone movement for a looooong time.  It's a hand-me-down, like most of my phones are, but it keeps me from getting lost, lets me read my email before I even get out of bed, and upload photos to my online accounts.  All in all, I'm a big fan.

-My Little Pony?  I just really wanted to post this picture because I liked it so much. :) I have rekindled a love for exploring what artists all over the world are doing in their spare time.  This modern day has made it so easy to see and explore little projects, from videos to artwork to jewelry, with etsy and youtube and the wonders of the modern world ... so cool.

-Wood Flooring will be added to our condo at the end of the month.  I'm not really looking forward to the process, but I'm very excited about the end result!

- NaNoWriMo is over, but my story is not.  I know many of you have been asking for it, but it's simply not ready for "other eyes."  I am working on it when I can, I promise!

More to come, more to come.  I am "buckling down" to train for the TOUGH MUDDER in February.  I don't want to get my ass handed to me and misrepresent my outnumbered sex.  OORAH!!

Sucker for Mud

So after running the Mud Mash last year, I knew I had started something.  I had so much fun, not only did I want to do it again this year, I started looking for any and all muddy races I could find locally.  In the process I found the Muddy Buddy and the Tough Mudder, which I promptly signed up for.

The Mud Mash was just as fun (and just as hard) as I remembered, though it has grown more popular (nearly twice as many people attended this year).

 The Muddy Buddy was last week, and I had a blast.  It was cold, wet and rainy that morning, but everyone at the race was in good spirits.  The race is unique in that it is a duathalon, and you "leap frog" with a partner between obstacles.  (One starts on the bike, then switches at each obstacle stop.)  The hills were slippery and slimy so it was hard to keep your footing when you were running, and the rain had everyone soaked head to toe.  The bike was a lot of fun, though some of those down hill courses were SUPER scary, especially since I was taking them like a screaming banshee, trying to recall everything I learned long ago in my mountain biking course so that I could keep up with my blazing fast teammate, Bruno.  I was so grateful for all the technical biking skills I learned in my Westmont class, I'm pretty sure that's the main reason we came in as the first place co-ed team in our division. (Yay!)

The most entertaining obstacle stop, in my opinion, was an enormous inflatable slide.  You had to climb a cargo net up the backside, nearly straight up, and then toss yourself off the other side.  It was a STEEP slope, and with the added wet rains I flew to the bottom and landed with a squeel and a THUD at the bottom.  I must have been grinning like an utter fool the entire race.  It was over before I knew it... only about 6 miles and when you are swapping between running and biking it was insane how quickly the hour went by.

The Tough Mudder is coming up in February, and that one is designed by British special forces or something totally insane like that.  (One of the obstacles apparently is a field of electric wires that shock you!)  Sounds like fun.

Sometimes I forget how much I love running when I'm in the blindingly fun whirl of paddling season, but I think in the long run (ha, bad pun...) the sport I never want to stop doing is just good old fashioned running.  I love that in the morning if I want to go for a jog all I really need are shoes and a bra.  I can go anywhere for as long as I want and I can rock out to great tunes or just take in the scenery around me.

I have been surfing a bit more as well in the off season, which has been great despite the frigid waters up here.  Almost done with my Paralegal program, too! Winter quarter I think is my last ... that will be nice to finally be through.  But until then, more races await.

NaNoWriMo III

For the third year in a row, I am going to dive head first (and with reservations) into National Novel Writing Month.  This year I can honestly confess that I am completely and utterly unprepared.  You see, I have failed utterly in diving back into the story I created last year.  I made the 50,000 word mark, but there was a great deal of story left to tell.  I thought maybe I would have the discipline to keep writing after November, but I did not.  I feel like I have let folks down who took the time to read my little starter novel - they have been hanging in suspense, waiting for me to finish, and I have not done so.

Heck, I haven't even been keeping up with my blog writing.  Sorry!

Thus, this year I think I am going to revisit that story and try to actually finish it.  However, my lack of prep has me worried... yet at the same time, I'm a little excited.  The past couple years I have cheated a wee bit and started writing early, but this year I have not started a single paragraph.  I have re-read last year's story and poured over some notes, but that's about it.


I have also made myself a couple of character bios.  I thought those of you who read last year's beginning might like to see some of the pictures I picked out to temporarily "embody" a few of my main characters.  Doing this kind of thing helps me visualize my story as well as how my characters interact with one another, and it's kind of a fun way to give them some depth for my own reference, as well as keep everyone straight in my head.

Althea Anders

Felix

(Uncle) Hendrick Anders

Erica Page

Thank you again to everyone SO MUCH who read my story last year.  It means more than you know.  I loved the feedback and am encouraged by all of your words.  I also thank those of you who have been and will be socially shunned when I take up a perch in the local coffee shops to crank out some words in this busy time of year.

Good luck to everyone who is undertaking the November challenge!  I am here to help you out of the "stuck" spots and expect you all to do the same for me. :)